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You're a Pain, But Let's Get Married Anyway



SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Singaporean couples may not be happy with their
partners but they will still marry them anyway, a global survey on
relationships shows.

The poll of 716 couples who planned to wed showed that 39 percent were
unhappy in their relationships, the highest proportion of nine societies
surveyed by a U.S.-based marriage and family therapy organization.

The poll is the latest unflattering survey of ardor in a wealthy population
that chases what is known in local parlance as the Five C's: career,
condominium, club, credit cards and cars.

Birth rates hit a record low in 2004 and an annual survey by condom-maker
Durex has ranked Singapore for three straight years near the bottom of its
list of sexually active nations.


In the latest survey, only 14 percent of Singaporeans described themselves
as "very happy" with their partners, the lowest of the regions surveyed and
compared with 48 percent in the United States.


The polls were conducted as part of a U.S.-based program known as PREPARE
(Premarital Personal and Relationship Evaluation) led by David Olson, a
retired University of Minnesota professor and author of several books on
family therapy.


Other regions surveyed were Japan, Hong Kong, Australia, Britain, Canada,
Germany and New Zealand. But Singapore's results stood out sharply, said
Olson.


"I'm surprised so many premarital Singaporean couples are not as happy with
their relationships but are still planning to get married," Olson told
Reuters after releasing the findings at a conference in Singapore.


Among those in the survey who consider themselves unhappy, most cited
disagreements with their partners on a number of issues, or said they
disliked their partners' personality or that there were problems
communicating effectively.


In contrast, U.S. couples ready to tie the knot painted a far more blissful
picture with nearly half of 1,000 surveyed indicating they were very happy
in their relationships.


Olson said couples in Singapore -- an island of 4.2 million people -- may be
suffering because of a reluctance to speak their minds about problems to
avoid confrontation.


"They are afraid to say what they think and are afraid to disagree," he
said.



03/04/05 09:00


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